Here are a few items from Michelle (Mickey as I remember her) and Jonathan's wedding. I really liked the napkins, they were real cute. I need to get a better camera, a modern one, small and discreet. I didn't take any pics at this wedding, it just didn't feel right to take out a bulky camera in a Protestant Reformed church and start taking pictures, unless of course, if you are the wedding photographer. Who, by the way, I noticed didn't take a whole lot of pics. My photographer went nuts, almost like my personal paparazzi, clicking away. I think there were about 6 pictures taken during the hour long ceremony.
I think the last Protestant Reformed (PR) wedding I went to was my Aunt Sarah in the early 90's. I didn't forget how long they are.
Michelle's wedding started uniquely, each of her bridesmaids and groomsmen walked down the isle alone. There were 3 attendants for the bride and groom each, including the matron of honor, a very pregnant cousin Rachelle. I had no idea she was expecting, but I think this is the 3rd time I've seen her kids in their lifetimes, so if that tells you how close we are...
It's odd to me to have cousins that I don't interact with very often. The cousins on my mom's side of the family are like extended brothers and sisters I don't see often, but have a great relationship with when I do. The cousins on my dad's side of the family are distant, people who are forever kids in memory, but are really adults, attending college and joining the army. Not really that much younger than I.
I feel odd about this, but then I remember the reason: religion. I choose to leave the religion they belong to (PR) and consequently, I am not welcome to be in their lives unless it is a Christmas family reunion. That's real fun, let me tell you.
There's a lot of hurt feelings over all of this and I try my best to be respectful of their choices and not to be hurt over it (they were raised to believe it or die and go to hell and cause all your children and your children's children to go to hell, too). I choose not to focus on the "lost family" it won't take too many more decades and they will all be distant relatives, lost forever to all but the best dutch bingo players.
Anyways, back to the wedding. It turns out that Mickey had picked out Mums for her flowers, and when they went to pick them up, Mickey had an allergic reaction. They had very little time to find new flowers, which turned out to be a beautiful fall colored mix featuring yellow sunflowers and orange something (sorry, I have no idea, but they looked real nice). The matron of honor and bridesmaids wore black tea length dresses, and had their hair piled in curls on top of their heads. They all carried bouquets that matched the sunflowers on the pulpit and look beautiful, even 9 months pregnant.
I sat towards the back row with my husband on one side and my older sister on the other. Lucky me, two of my most favorite people in the world! My parents sat a row ahead of us, which was nice because we could talk. Behind us sat wonderful distant relatives who were very chatty and kinda loud, playing dutch bingo. for those of you who don't know, dutch bingo is a game played by older dutch PR's. The goal of the game is to name all the people around you by what family they came from. Connect the dots and figure out who is related to who and how. When we sat down I heard "sisters. I think they are sisters, Dan and Jennie's? I think so." This went on until the bride walked down the isle. There were a couple of times I wanted to turn around and add bits of info to the conversation, "No, that's not Eric, it's his younger brother Carl" and so forth and so one.
The bride looked radiant in a long white dress with short sleeves, small buttons all down the back and a long train. Her groom was in a black tux, no tails, silver bow tie, and all smiles and they seemed like a very happy young couple.
The ceremony was very long. The minister asked us all to sing a psalter number (so long since I held a psalter!) and we did, then a quick run through of the vow's, a unity candle lighting (no invitation to kiss the bride) and the attendants all sat down while the bride and groom turned to face the minister. The minister gave a very long sermon (maybe 45 mins?) and I couldn't pay attention. The parts I did hear said things like, if you aren't christian, your marriage won't last and isn't really backed by god, and the like. If I wanted to I could get real mad about it. But I don't care if they don't want to recognize my marriage, I'm in it, and it's very real.
Anyways, on to the reception!
Mindi, Phil, and I were all thankfully assigned the same table and I enjoyed myself very much. The reception was at a different church (still PR) and Mickey had some very nice table settings. All white table and chair covers, with white and black bows across the back. I looked into it for my wedding, but decided not to in the end. It look very elegant. The party was emceed by a few PR ministers who told silly but non offensive jokes and stories and gently teased each other and the bride and groom, and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. We were sat in the far corner with my Aunt Fran and Uncle Doug, who were videotaping the event. I am not in the video as I was behind the equipment set up directly in the path of my view. Coincidental?
We were given Wilhelmina peppermints wrapped in black or silver wrapping paper tied with tulle bows (also black or silver), as the favors, and can I say there is nothing more dutch than that? If you don't know, then you just don't know. The food started with a simple salad and main course was wonderful, homemade beef pot roast with corn or green beans, mashed potatoes, gravy, and of course, rolls.
The longest service is ironically the shortest celebration. The wedding started right on time at 7 pm and the reception ended punctually at 10 pm. We sang a psalter number and that was it, everybody out.
Phil and I picked up a friend on the way home and had a celebration of our own while I reflected on what my life would have been, had I chosen to remain in the PR church. I'm so glad I made the choices that I did, they have made me the person that I am, and I know that I could not have grown in the PR Church, but would have felt suffocated and eventually it would have killed me (in my heart I would have died long before my body).
No regrets here.
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