(Not) Smoking Cigarettes

I was at my sister's house last week and showing her how to add fun things to her blog when we found the Quit Smoking widget. How cool! Part of me felt like it has been so long since I quit that a counter is a little late, but since I installed it, I find I am very attracted to it! It's hard to believe (even now) that it has been so long since I quit. 47 weeks. I could have had a baby in that time. It's amazing to me that I was able to do it, that I still choose to not do it. It was such a part of me, part of my identity - Smoker - and I was able to change it with out changing me.
Cool. Amazing.
My favorite memories (of quitting) are from January of this year. That was the coldest winter weather I can remember, ever. And seeing that I live in Michigan, that means C-O-L-D. My Fiancee and our smoker friends would bundle up and go outside to smoke their cigs and I would stay on the couch, stretched out, cozy and warm underneath my favorite blanket. I love not smoking. Especially when it means not getting cold.
I feel I should say I don't think I could have done it without the help I got from Chantix. I was seriously surprised when it really did take away the urge to go smoke. I would realize I hadn't thought of having a smoke for a LOOONG time. I had to use Chantix twice. The first time, I was too eager to stop taking the pills and couldn't stop smoking the cigs. I smoked for another guilt filled month and finally told my doc I needed a new prescription for the first month pack again (That was hard, because I was hiding the fact that I had stopped taking it). So the second time I started the plan, I just decided I would quit when I was ready, not when a special date occurred. I found I didn't really want to smoke very often, and when I did smoke, I would lose interest before the cig was even half gone. So I started smoking half a cig (very stinky!) and smoked the other half when the urge to smoke struck again again. I was actually about 4 days or so past the time the Chantix said to quit smoking. I smoked "halfies" maybe twice a day, or whenever I felt the need, until I ran out of smokes. Then I never bought another pack of cigs again.

Chantix was wonderful, but had side effects for me. I got very nauseated for about 15 mins every time I took the pill. I never actually vomited, but it was so severe I would wonder if I was ill, before I remembered the pills made me feel that way. That is why I quit taking the pills the first time - I really hate feeling like I'm going to vomit. But I stopped too early, before my physical addiction to nicotine was over. The second time I used the nausea as an incentive. I never want to feel that again, therefore, if I never smoke again, I never have to. That sentiment there has kept me cigarette free (not even one puff) since December 2, 2007.

My husband wants to quit smoking. He even used my leftover Chantix, but wasn't able to get past the nausea side effects and stopped taking them so he is still smoking. The more time that passes, the more I notice and feel adverse to the smell of smoking. The other day he took a "halfie" inside and it about knocked me over. Very Stinky. I don't know if he will ever be able to quit smoking, you have to put up with a lot of discomfort (whether it is nausea from Chantix or just plain withdraw) for about a month and then it lightens up for the next 2 months until you don't really notice it (until situations of high stress). I confess there are times I think a smoke would be great, but I have never and will never give in to that urge. I fought too hard to go back. I know that I am not strong enough to smoke "only one" or even take one hit. I know I would be right back to a pack a day. I don't want to die of cancer (especially cancer I could have avoided), I don't want to smell (Smokers - you smell really bad), and I don't want to spend all that money just to feed an addiction that brings me closer to death.

A lot of my friends have successfully quit smoking over the years. In fact more of my friends are non smokers than there are smokers. In between my quit attempts I was talking to one friend who had recently quit (he had about a month smoke free) and I asked him how he did it. He said "It's real easy. Just don't do it." I see now that not smoking is the lazy thing to do. I don't have to worry about how many cigs I have, where the best price for them is, when I will be going to the gas station to get more, how much money I have to purchase them, where they are, where my lighter is, or when I will be able to go outside to smoke. Not smoking is a lot easier than smoking. I don't even need to stop what I am doing to go smoke. Not ever. And I like that a whole lot.